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Casual Sex Guide: How to Make Sure You Get Her to Orgasm

sex-tipsWhether you are a straight male, bisexual or lesbian, the desire to make sure that your lady is completely satisfied is still really important to most of us. No person likes to get to the end knowing that their sexual partner has not been fully satisfied by having an orgasm. Bringing a woman to orgasm can be a real art form, particularly if you are someone who only does casual sex dating and so are only having sex with people you don’t know. The good news is that there are actually lots ways to ensure that you get a woman to climax, or at least have a great enough time that she will never forget you.

Before we get into the positions that are going to help you to get your partner to orgasm, the firstand most important thing for a woman is that you treat them right. Now, this differs from woman to woman, so here in lays the art form. Don’t forget that most women love a kinky sex from time to time so if you think she seems game, try turning it into a kinky hookup.

Foreplay begins even before you get your hands on the lucky lady. You definitely need to make her feel comfortable and aroused even before you hit the bedroom. For one night stands, making sure that she doesn’t feel like an object that is just there to satisfy you is really important. At the same time, letting her know how much you want her and find her irresistible is certainly going to get her warmed up. Don’t just jump right into full penetrative sex either. One thing that all women love is for a person to go down on them and put some serious work in. If you want her to orgasm, this is the best way to start.

Top Sexual Positions For Casual Hookup

After you have put lots of work into the foreplay, it’s time for the real fun to start. The important thing to remember is that where one position might work with one person, it won’t necessarily work on another.  So when you jump into bed, it is important to have a bunch of positions ready to try out to find out which one works for her.

  1. Her On Top – Cow Girl or the Sit and Straddle

Most fellas still believe that women get most excited when the guy in on top. The fact of the matter is that most of the women we talked to said that they felt great to be on top and in full control. Provided the guy feels strong inside them, they said that being on top was a great position where they could take control of the movement, so as to bring themselves to orgasm. They also indicated that with a first time hookup, they generally preferred the cow girl position, while for more intimate partners they found the sit and straddle to work best. So, there you have it. If you want to make sure the girl orgasms, let her take control.

  1. Missionary

The missionary position, where the guy is on top, is a much loved position by most women. This is because it allows the clitoris to be fully stimulated by the guy’s groin area while also allowing inside the vagina to be well stimulated. The two approaches to this position are either taking it slow or going full speed until the end. When taking it slow, you guarantee a better level of sensitive stimulation to her vagina, something which for some women is the key to getting them to climax. Alternatively, going fast with deep thrusts will make many women feel super excited, as obviously it makes the situation seem more exciting. Our tip: try starting slowly and if after some time you want to switch it up, do so. But if you do go fast, make sure you don’t climax before she does.

  1. The Up and Over

For those people who need a little more turbo to the missionary position, there is the up and over. This position is done by placing a pillow behind the women’s neck as she lies on the bed. Get her to then lift her hips and to wrap her legs up around your back as close to your shoulders as she can. This the perfect position for deep penetration which is really stimulating for women. You will need to take care to make sure that you are not pushing too deep, however, as you might cause her some pain. As long as you do, she will love this position.

  1. Doggie Style

For the same reason lots of women love the up and over, they also enjoy this position. Doggie style allows fast and deep penetration that drives some women crazy. A lot of the women we spoke to said that they liked this position when they hook up with someone who they don’t have any level of intimacy with. Because of its high energy feeling, many women get off on the pure excitement as much as the deep penetration aspect. Again, you should get a feel for what your partner wants as some women prefer intimacy and find this position unappealing.

  1. The Down But Not Out

woman orgasmMany women love to be penetrated from behind but find doggie too lacking in intimacy. For those women there is a perfect solution; the down but not out. This position involves the woman lying face down and her partner lying on top of her while penetrating her from behind. Since both bodies are touching, this position feels a lot more intimate and fulfilling for some women. This position is also better at stimulating the inside of the vagina, and since it can be done both slowly and quickly, offers a really nice set of options to best please both participants.

Final Thought

The art of the orgasm really comes down to making sure you get it right for that person. Generally, it becomes easier to do all the right things to get a woman to orgasm after you get to know her a little more. So for hookups, the best advice is to try lots of things to see what works, while for women you know a little better, just give her extra helpings of all the things you know she loves best. Finally, don’t be afraid to try to turn it into a kinky hookup to send her excitement levels into the stratosphere.

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Differences: Casual Hookup With a Stranger or Your Best Friend

casual sex with friendThe opinion on whether to engage in casual hookups varies amongst different people. Some think it is a waste of time; others feel it fits their lifestyle very well. I, on the other hand, have always enjoyed casual hookups. I’ve never been shy about meeting a stranger and hopefully if I like them, I will go the distance, but only for that one night. Sometimes I may have several hookups with the same stranger over time. It is important to know that emotions should never be involved and that it is only at that particular time. Some of my friends worry that I am becoming a bit of a slut and that I should spend that time looking for a meaningful relationship. This assumption does not worry me at all. Casual hookups simply work best for me as I never have time to date. My work involves a lot of unscheduled traveling and hotel boarding. There’s just no room for me to be a loyal girlfriend to any one boyfriend. But when it comes to friends, I have plenty of friends. I am loyal to my friends. Especially my best friend, Kevin.

 

Kevin and I met in college almost 16 years ago. I was easily drawn to him for his humor and humility. He came from a well to do family and I, on the other hand, was barely struggling to get by. We were never romantically inclined to one another and would always share opinions on the people we were dating. Throughout my career, we have always found ways of keeping in touch even when we can’t physically see each other for long periods of time. Whenever we get a chance to meet, it’s always a fun time. Kevin is the one true friend that has never judged me for my casual dating style. If I’m not choosing my casual date online, Kevin almost always helps me pick out the most suitable guy at the counter. We are each other’s best friend. One night, as we always do whenever I am in town, we met up for some drinks to catch up. The night went on as usual. A few shots here, some pool playing and long talks. He tried to show me a couple of guys I would like, and I picked out a few females he would like, but somehow that night, none of us scored. One thing led to another, and we ended up waking up in my bed! I must say, it was one of the weirdest casual hookups I’ve ever been engaged in. This was my best friend. We, however, decided it was just that one time and vowed to continue keeping in touch, as friends, just like we always have. That didn’t go as planned.

 

The calling and texting dwindled, and whenever I was in town, I was too afraid to call him up. The difference is whenever I hook up with a stranger, and I want to link up with them again, I have no problem looking them up anytime I am in their vicinity. I think it boils down to the fact that with a man I barely know, I am not hoping for a relationship, it’s simply casual. No strings attached. The makeup of casual hookups depends on finding the person with the exact understanding of why we are both there, and no one feels used or cheap. There are times when you find that one person who will want to go further than just the casual hookup and addresses the desire to have a relationship. For me, it is easy to stay unattached because my schedule just doesn’t allow it. I will usually explain this to the other party, be as honest as I can about my situation and quickly end it.

 

casual hookup with best friendWith Kevin, I ended up being the one who wanted more than that casual thing. I couldn’t get myself to see any other guy. I found myself thinking about him constantly, and not just as a friend. I gathered up the courage to call him one day when I was in town so we could meet. He agreed. We met up at our favorite pub, but this time, I got dressed up … Something I usually never do when am meeting Kevin. I was nervous and to say the least; the conversation was awkward. After a few shots, we put all that behind us and started having fun like we always did. Strangely, he never pointed to a guy he thought would suit me for the night. That night ended up with us waking up in his house in the morning. We did it again! It is at this point that I usually have the am not able to commit’ discussion that I always have with all my other casual hookups. But I couldn’t with Kevin. I left without saying a word. I wanted this to go on. So again we hooked up all that week until I had to travel again. Kevin offered to take me to the airport. As I was ready to get in, he looked at me and said, “You know this was just casual, right?” I cannot tell you how many times I’ve used that same line to strangers before. Hearing it from my best friend was crushing. I immediately realized I had become attached to him. But he, on the other hand, was only having a good time. I decided I will not let that sway me. I know Kevin very well. He is going to come around. I will continue with the hookups and pretend I have no feelings for him. So after a treacherous three weeks away, I came back to town and asked if we could meet. He was more than excited to meet up as, like he said, had someone he wanted to introduce me to. It was a girl, a very beautiful one I might add. He has been dating her and wanted my opinion on her.

 

Here’s the thing, casual hookups are a great way to get what you need for that time. As long as both parties are well aware that no emotions are involved, it can turn out great. With strangers, it is so much easier because you have no prior feelings towards the person and might take time to get to know them. When it is your best friend, the casual hookup may come as a surprise, but it may take a turn for the worse because this is someone you already love. And when the hookup is great, the emotions may overflow even without realizing it for either one of you. Chances of your friendship ending are high if someone is hurt in the process. Kevin did eventually marry the girl; I still go on as I am with no regrets and our friendship is even stronger.

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Navigating The World of Casual Sex

casual encountersCasual sex isn’t a new concept. Ancient Rome has a reputation for debauchery. Truth is, they were no more deprived than the rest of the modern (even in ancient times) world. Everybody has sex, and way more people have casual sex than you would think. With that being said, it can still be difficult to get out there and go after what you want. So today we’re going to talk about how to find the right partners for your casual encounters, how to approach the subject of a tryst, and how to keep it civil in the sunlight.

Finding The Right Partner

It may not seem like it, but men and women both want casual sex. The key is to find someone who’s also looking for this encounter at the same time you are. Ships passing in the night aren’t going to dock. You have to find someone who is giving out signals that he/she is available. Here are some of those signals.

  • Flirting: Flirting takes on a whole new meaning when the end game is a casual fling. So how can you tell the difference? Usually, when a woman flirts back with you, she talks about your sense of humor or asks questions about your life. If she’s in the mood for something less long term, her flirtation will be based on physical attributes more than your personality. This is a sign that she’s after something more immediate. Your wonderful relationship with your grandmother may not mean as much to her.
  • Hookup Apps: Nothing more self-explanatory than a woman swiping right. If you match up with a woman on one of these sites, chances are she’s ready for something carefree. Many of the dating rituals can be skipped over and you can get down to getting down.
  • Morality: You might think I’m going to tell you to steer clear of ‘good’ girls here. But quite the contrary. While the conquest may be harder to accomplish, you’d be surprised how many former prudes are ready to let loose. Watch for those flirty signals and pounce!

Asking For A Casual Encounter

So you think you found the one? If you’re ready to take the next step and broach the subject of a casual fling, here are some tips for you.

  • Honesty: Yeah, that may sound counterintuitive, but honesty is still the best policy. You don’t have to be crass about it. You’d be better off if you weren’t. But letting your date know up front that you’re not looking for anything long term. Then gauge her responses. Is she continuing physical contact, and laughing at your unfunny jokes? You’re in.
  • Flirt: Like in the first section, keep the flirt game strong. But also keep it physical. Don’t get too deep into emotional territories, or your plan may backfire. That’s a connection you’re not ready to forge. Also, try to keep the flirtation working in your favor. How? Let’s say you’ve always been complimented on your eyes, compliment hers. She’ll most likely say your eyes are beautiful too, and check them out.
  • Pick Up Lines: The usual lines will work if she’s after the same things you are. Even a simple ‘Wanna get out of here?’ can go far. Lines to listen to from her… Anything referring to how busy she is, like too busy to date. Women who say they’re too busy to date (while still keeping physical contact and flirting) are signaling that they want something casual. They’re letting you know up front that they want sex without the relationship complications. Score!

Walk of Shame

friends with benefits relationshipThe Walk of shame doesn’t have to be shameful. Men and women alike love sex. A woman who is up for a sexual encounter on the first date, or without a date, isn’t going to worry too much the next morning. However, there are still some basic rules you should follow to keep it civil on your way out the door.

  • Thank Her!: Tell her how much you appreciated and loved your time together. She won’t take it as a sign that you’re meant to be together. It’s just common courtesy and it will go a long way. If you guys clicked and the sex was good, she’ll probably be thanking you too. It’s possible that it could become a regular thing, or it could end right then. Either way, she just had sex with you and you’re happy about it. Let her know.
  • Don’t Ask: If you’re truly not after anything beyond that night, don’t make fake ask to see her again. It’s insulting. And it sets up an unreasonable expectation. If she agreed to the casual encounter, then she’s already in the mindset that she won’t see you again. Don’t muddy the waters. If you are thinking you want to continue the arrangement, start slowly with some feeler suggestions and see if she takes the bait. But leave it up to her.
  • Friends With Benefits: Here’s a concept that will muddy the waters all on its own. If you just had a casual fling with someone you know, now’s the time to set up boundaries. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe it’s the start of something. Don’t assume either and make sure both of you are on the same page about what happened before you leave. Friends with benefits can be a great dynamic for the right two people. You just have to be sure that the two of you fit well together mentally as well as physically. Don’t do anything to jeopardize the friendship.

As I said before, we’re not reinventing the wheel here. Casual sex has been around since the dawn of time. And now’s probably the best time in history for it. We have the means of finding each other. We have the means of protecting ourselves against disease. And we have the means of communicating with each other up front about our expectations. Whether you end up turning the casual sex encounter into a long term casual arrangement, or leave it as a one night stand, the key is to keep everyone’s feelings in check.

Be honest with your partner and expect honesty back from them.

For more online casual sex dating resources, please check out our website.

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Casual Sex: How to Feel Good the Morning After

the morning after sexNo matter whether you’ve had some casual hookup or you’re thinking about having one, there’s one big question that troubles many: what happens the morning after? One thing’s for sure – life moves on!

Even though some may think that casual sex ends up like a total disaster in the end, things don’t necessarily need to be that way. Actually, if both of you are mature enough to understand what was that you got yourselves into, things don’t end up being bad at all.

Read on to learn ways about how to feel good the morning after you’ve had some casual sex and how not to feel miserable and disappointed in the end.

 

1 – Have clear intentions

 

Casual hookups work well just because both sides have their intentions clear – you want to enjoy the psychical part of the relationship without getting entangled with some emotional baggage as well.

So having that in mind, one way to ruin things for yourself is to get all emotional about it and start obsessing over the other person. Don’t forget that you’re doing it because you want to enjoy sex, not because you want to raise your kids together. Of course, you’d have a cool story to tell if that somehow happens but life is not a Hollywood movie most of the time.

Even if you decide to make a whole casual sex relationship out of your one night stand, don’t let feelings get in your way. One good way to do this is to always choose people you feel attracted to but you wouldn’t want to really date in the long term. That doesn’t mean that you should lower your standards and sleep with whoever gets in your way but it means that you shouldn’t be as picky – just make sure you like that someone enough to let them see you naked.

 

2 – Always practice safe sex

 

So you’ve just met the other person and chemistry does its work because sparks are flying all over the place! Throw in a couple of laughs and witty jokes to the mix and you know someone will be getting lucky that night. One thing leads to another and next thing you know, you’re having sex in someone’s car.

Sounds like a great time, right? Well, yes – as long as you’re using protection! Even though casual hookups are all about being spontaneous and enjoying yourself, nothing brings more regret rather than practicing unsafe sex with a stranger. Because yes, someone you’ve just met is a stranger to you – you don’t know the other person nor his/her sexual background!

In order to avoid having unsafe sex, keep a few condoms in a safe place at all times and throw in a few dental dams – you’ll never know when you might need them! Also, don’t forget to do regular STD checkups with your doctor as well and always let the other person know if you’ve been experiencing some symptoms of discomfort after the night spent with them.

 

3 – Don’t get drunk

 

No matter how you’ve met the other person – online or offline – chances are, you’re going on a date of some sorts before the actual sex takes place. Even if you’ve decided to meet up at each other’s homes, there’s still going to be some sort of drinking involved.

Grabbing a drink or two to feel a bit more relaxed is okay. Getting totally wasted – on any substance, actually – is not. You’ll end up not remembering most of the things you did and wake up with the worst hangover of them all: regret!

If you think you might get carried away with the drinking, order some virgin cocktails or just stick with water. That way, you’ll be aware of the things you’re doing at all times and you won’t feel used up the morning after. Don’t forget that everything you do throughout the night should be consensual for both sides.

 

4 – Don’t have casual sex with your close friends

 

casual sex with friendsThere are many stories where best friends got together after a while and they ended up getting married and having three kids. While no one is denying true love can happen between two close friends, casual sex works in a bit more complicated way most of the time.

Things will definitely become messy the morning after – are you friends now, are you dating or are you just casually having sex with each other? On top of that, someone will end up getting hurt in the end because who gets to decide what the two of you have gotten into? Remember that there are more than a few people you can have casual sex with but finding great friends is not that easy.

Instead of going to bed with someone you’ve shared your deepest secrets with, sleep with people you have zero emotional background with. There are multiple ways to meet people for casual hookups, such as on various casual dating websites or on dating apps – use that to your maximum advantage!

 

5 – Don’t expect anything

 

Nothing ruins the morning after like waking up with a ton of expectations in your head. Your brain is buzzing and yes, you probably feel good about the two of you just because you – hopefully! – had some great sex together.

But expecting something more than just a night full of fun will only get you hurt. In fact, overthinking is your worst enemy here – if you think you may be developing some sort of an emotional attachment to that person, you could be heading down a dead-end street.

You need to approach casual sex hookups for what they are – just a casual hookup that doesn’t have any deeper meaning. You liked each other and you ended up sleeping together –that’s pretty much it! Most of the time, you won’t even see the person ever again.

In the rare case that things do work out for the two of you and you end up catching feelings for each other, that’s awesome. But don’t engage into one night stands if along-term commitment is on your mind as that may leave you feeling disappointed in the end.

 

To sum it all up, remember that one of the best parts about the one-night stands is that you’re totally in control of everything – both of your bodies and feelings, as well as the way you react to everything that happens! Use that to your maximum advantage to have some awesome time with someone you really like – don’t ruin things for yourself by overthinking.

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Hookup Guide: How to Get a Guy into Bed If You Are a Woman

women casual sex with guysIf you are one of the millions of women, who each year search for advice on how to get a guy into bed, you will already know that no matter what search engine you use, the results will nearly all be tips for guys to get women into bed. It is amazing how little information is actually available on the topic, something that highlights how much things still have to go until things catches up with modern women. Hookup dating is, in fact, very common amongst women, particularity since the advent of dating sites such as Tinder, while the rise of casual dating sites shows that women are increasingly more open to fun.

It might be true that because of the biological differences, men are generally more obsessed with sex with women, but this is definitely not always the case.  Women are increasingly throwing off the shackles of the past and taking full control of their fate, something that includes aggressively going after what they want, so far as sex is concerned.

As a guy, I have to say that the 5 or 6 times that a woman has aggressively chased me in order to get me into bed, felt not only refreshing but incredibly exciting too. On these occasions, I was lucky to actually make it into my home before they had undressed me. It doesn’t take much to imagine just how much fun those nights turned out to be, believe me.

The interesting part is that I am not alone. When this topic has arisen in the past, nearly all my male friends have recounted a story or two and said how great the feeling was. So to help spread the word and give women out there a little more insight into what works with guys and what doesn’t, here is a little insight from a guy’s perspective.

What guys really think about sex!

Thanks to our biology, human males are hardwired for sex. Do you know that while asleep, on average a guy will get an erection 11 times a night! Unlike animals such as Polar Bears, human females don’t get pregnant each time they have sex. There is roughly a 10% chance a woman will get pregnant after having sex, if calculated over the whole month. So when you think about it, that’s quite a bit of work that we guys have to be ready for.

Do guys respect a woman less if she jumps straight into bed with them?

This is one of those things that really depends on the guy. Most women I have spoken to say this is one of their main concerns about sleeping with a guy they just met. Fundamentally, this does boil down to two things; who the guy is and what his moral viewpoint/background is.

I’m sorry to say that there are a lot of douchebag guys out there who really don’t seem to respect women much anyway. If you imagine it as a spectrum, opinions go from this, all the way through to men who basically think like monks. There is definitely a good percentage of men who still will judge a woman quite strongly on her sexual history, though in my experience, most of these guys have still had more sexual partners than the girl they are judging anyway.

I think a good rule of thumb here is if you are interested in having something more serious with the guy, or at least are concerned that he might judge you in a negative way, hold off from having sex with him for a little while just long enough to make him notice. I’ve done this with some women, and I have to be honest, it really does work.

What if you want to get him into bed?

If you have found a guy that you like but he hasn’t made any kind of move to get you into bed then don’t be put off by this. There are hundreds of reasons why he might not have made any move to initiate a casual hookup, from being too shy, to trying to show you the respect of not making you feel like he only wants you for sex. The simple truth is that you won’t know until you let things play out or make a move on him. The latter is what guys have to do all the time to try to get a woman, now it’s your turn.

Attraction

The laws of attraction are older than humans themselves. For the same reason that you are attracted to him, he must be attracted to you.  Now to be clear, all guys recognize the difference between ‘magazine beauty’ and a beautiful person. A beautiful face and a nice body might be what all guys want, but we know enough that personality is going to have to kick in very quickly in order for us to stay interested. Imagine walking up to someone for them only to be rude and nasty, are you likely to want to keep talking to them? Well, it’s the same for guys.

Though attraction is definitely important, believe me as soon as you start talking to someone, things can quickly change.

Be brave

There is no reason why a woman can’t go up to talk to a guy. I have never met a guy who has said that being hit on by a woman feels strange. Go up to him and start a conversation, after all, what is the worst that can happen?

Enjoy yourself

woman gets a guy into her bedGuys like fun women. Making the conversation lighthearted and easygoing is a real way to win over a guy. You don’t need to be a professional comedian of anything, but just keeping the conversation fun will really melt any reservations he might have and build that deeper personality attraction.

Flirt

It is a common misconception that guys don’t pick up on women flirting. Well, we do, it is just that we pretend not to. Mostly, guys will try to play it cool if they notice a woman flirting as our traditional role is to be the dominant one and therefore to lead the way. My advice here lay it on as thick as you like, as you now know, guys really love when women come on strong to them.

Rejection is part of the game

Just as it is for guys, rejection is always a big risk. There is no easy way to deal with being knocked back, other than forgetting about it and moving on. Remember, don’t let rejection put you off, if it happens, put it behind you and move your focus to another guy. Trust me, if you do, before long you will get what you want and be in bed with that handsome guy you always dreamed about. Happy hunting ladies!

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Casual Dating Guide: Best Tips for Getting a Woman to Go Home with You

bar hookupWhether you have met someone through a dating app and are about to meet her in person, or want to know how to hook up with a woman in a bar, there are a few helpful things to know to make sure that you keep the best odds of getting a hookup on your side.

All of us, regardless of if we are straight, bisexual or lesbian, have that fear of walking up to a girl and for everything to go wrong. She might not like you, isn’t interested in talking, already have a boyfriend, or you may not hit it off after you start making conversation. For this reason, hitting on a girl that you don’t know is a really scary thing for most people, something that creates enough fear that in most cases means people won’t actually even bother trying.

In all parts of our lives, fear is the most restricting factor to success.  Though we all somehow envy those pickup ‘gurus’, who with the bestselling book ‘The Game’ as their bible,are able to get girls anywhere from clubs to the subway, the truth is that very few of us would actually want to be one of those people. Their approach might play well for one night stands but would you really want to end up being someone who is comfortable with being a sleaze and happy doing things like grabbing asses and constantly working an angle on people?

The great news is that you don’t have to. You can still get plenty of hookups without turning yourself into a manipulative douchebag who leaves nothing but a series of hurt women behind you. Here are a few good tips on how to have a healthy hookup dating life, without having to be a sleaze.

  1. Don’t believe that the opening line is that important

We’ve all watched James Bond slide up to some girl, and after throwing her some corny one-liner, end up in bed with her a short time later. The problem is that the movies are not the real world and few of us are lucky enough to drive and Aston Martin or to be able to afford Bond’s expensive suits to stand a chance of getting the stunners he does.

While it is certainly true that in many cases money does talk, in the real world most of James Bond’s one-liners would only have girls heading for the exit. The simple fact is that if a girl wants to talk to you and likes you then you don’t need anything much to really break the ice. A simple introduction will often do the trick, something like “Hi, I’m….” is enough. If she doesn’t respond or says something condescending then you can either try to take it from there or leave. In 90% of all cases, if a woman isn’t even in the mood to greet you politely, then all bets are off.

  1. Keep your approach relevant to the environment

The ideal place to try to chat up any woman is in a bar. Bars allow you to stand near to the person and even catch their eye from time to time. A table is a lot harder, while dance floors are good, clubs are often too noisy. Your approach can be pretty standard in a bar where women are generally much more receptive to being approached. If you are, for example, in a quiet street then the person is much less likely to want to stop and chat. In this case, asking for the time is a great opener and will certainly get a better response than asking something like ‘what’s your name?’

  1. Buy them a drink but don’t act like they owe you for it

Buying a drink is a great way to get yourself invited to join a girl for a chat. One you start talking, you definitely need to shine in terms of turning on the charm, but you should always avoid acting like they owe you the time or cannot leave until you are happy you got what you paid for. Just play it cool and forget about the drink, it could end up getting you a casual hookup or it could be wasted money, either way, don’t act like the girl owes you as it will certainly end in tears.

  1. Try not to seem nervous or uncomfortable

Before you approach the girl, it is definitely worth taking a few deep breaths to try to relax as much as possible. When talking to her, make sure that you keep eye contact to a normal level since eye contact is a sign of confidence and as we all know, women love confidence. Also, make sure that you are asking lots of questions and conveying a strong interest in her replies. Obviously, you don’t need to go over the top but definitely try to make it seem that you two connect on a deeper level.

  1. As much as possible be yourself

One of the most important bits of advice is to try to be natural as much as possible. Though you will obviously want to make yourself seem as exotic and interesting as possible, if you stray too far from the truth, unless you are well practiced, you might trip yourself up and run into trouble.

  1. Let things flow

home sexIt is always a good idea to have a handful of questions and topics of conversations in your mind to cover while you talk. Tried and tested topics that get people laughing are perfect. Avoid any controversial topics and jokes that might cause offense. Try to keep the conversation flowing naturally rather than it sounding like an interview. If you just keep asking different questions without asking follow up questions to create a flowing conversation you are quickly going to exhaust your topics and will be stuck for things to talk about.

  1. Getting them to go home with you

Unless the person is making it very obvious then it is usually better to wait for the night to take its course before making any move towards getting them to go home with you. Once you feel the moment is right, don’t hold back, invite them out of the bar or straight to your place. Usually, asking the person where they live is a great way to get this conversation started. Depending on the environment, bisexuals and lesbians will often have to be a little bit more cautious about this, as unless it is a gay or lesbian bar, there is a big chance the woman might not have realized your intentions.

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Casual Dating Sites vs. Bars and Nightclubs

hookup nightclubsAnyone who takes hookup dating seriously will certainly have noticed how their local bars and clubs seem a little emptier than they used to. All around the world, there has been a growing grumble from bar and club owners who claim that dating apps are slowly strangling their business.

Before dating apps, the main place to get a new hookup was the nightclub or in a bar. It took some balls, if you will forgive the pun, but once you had mastered the art of approaching a stranger and striking up an interesting conversation with them, the fun of knowing that you either were going home with them or at least got their number was a buzz like no other.

Whether it is true or not that people prefer to use dating sites to going to bars and nightclubs, what this really doesn’t tell us much is which form of hookup dating is really better? To help us get to the bottom of it, we asked a bunch of dating advice experts to find out which is better, online dating sites or the good old nightclub.

Mark Jones – Dating site reviewer and LGBT campaigner

As a gay man living in the United States, I have got to say that I do really love the feel of going to a bar and meeting someone new that I’m attracted to. That said, it really is quite a lot of work to actually go to bars and clubs with the express purpose of hunting for a new hookup. A really interesting thing about the gay community is that we are usually way ahead of the trends compared to the straight community.

I have definitely noticed a big drop off in the numbers of people in the gay clubs I usually go to, which started around 5 or 6 years ago. But honestly, I think that has actually helped the chances that you can go and pick up someone because, in my opinion, there is definitely less of a feeding frenzy type atmosphere than there used to be. Though everyone I know uses dating apps as well as hitting the clubs, I would still say that I prefer the personal touch of meeting someone face to face, and that’s not even to mention the excitement too!

Clarrissa Hill – Dating site manager, club lover and part time BDSM dominant

Clubs are great! But the problem so far as meeting people this way is that really takes a lot of time energy. Luckily, for us women, we don’t really have to do much as the guys come to us. Though this is definitely flattering, it can be a real chore as the night goes on, especially if you are a girl like me, who is there to dance and have fun with my friends.

I use Tinder and OK Cupid to meet guys, and my usual thing is to go out to meet them at a bar and if I like them to invite them to go to a club with me. Where it goes from there really depends on how well things click, but this is the way I have been hooking up for the last year or so, to be honest.

I guess that I would definitely say that hookup apps have the advantage. In a club, even on a really busy night, the highest number of guys you are likely to talk to is around 10, and even then you won’t really be able to get to know them that much. With a dating site, you can really talk to them for as long as you like to get to know them better before you meet them. And of course, there is so much more choice as well.

Alexey Vasiliev – Life coach

As a single bisexual male with quite intensive work commitments, I have to say I love dating sites. I can’t even remember the last time I went to a club. I would say that I’m like the majority of single working people these days, I like going out with friends, but don’t really have the energy to spend my few days off hunting for hookups in bars and clubs all over the city. I never really liked dancing and so was not really all that successful in meeting girls in clubs anyway.

Casual dating sites really take so much of the work out of meeting new people. Rather than having to down a few drinks in order to get the courage up to talk to some stranger, the only effort with a dating site is in making your profile look great so that people are interested in you. People everywhere are being forced to learn the art of marketing, namely how to sell yourself in a really competitive marketplace.

casual dating onlineI use general apps like Tinder and also bi-friendly sites too.  I find Tinder the best for hookups, but really don’t like the overwhelming feel of it if I’m honest. I recommend that before signing up to any dating site, do some research to make sure that it is the one most suitable for you. If you are gay, bisexual or are into BDSM, then you should pick a sight that is designed for those niches. Trust me it really does make life easier.

Final Thought

The general agreement seems to be that though going to a bar or club is much more fun, though the effort and time it takes to hit on people makes it not so appealing especially since there is a much better alternative. Dating sites make the odds of meeting new people and getting the chance of a casual hookup or something more, much greater. The biggest upfront advantage is that you don’t get the same hard kick in the face feel when someone rejects you online, so it makes it much easier to talk to those super attractive strangers. Whether or not dating sites or apps will kill the nightclub remains to be seen, but what is clear is that the sheer number of people using online dating platforms must be proof that they are the preferred method of choice when it comes to meeting new people.

 

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5 Kinds of People You Should Not Date For Casual Hookups

casual sex encounterLet’s be clear – a casual hookup can be exciting, but it can also be regrettable. Today, there are many people who are not opposed to casual hookups and in fact, they are looking for such encounters from time to time and that’s fine. If you are interested in something like this, you should know that this no strings attached approach can be an excellent way to get rid of stress and feel happy and free again.

However, the question remains – is it a good idea to have sex with anyone you find attractive or even with people that don’t really attract you? What kind of casual sex partner is good? Are there any bad casual hookups? Having sex is easy, but the consequences you will feel after that can be overwhelming.

While we are talking about casual sex dating, we should also mention that this unique form of dating is now easier than ever thanks to the Internet. Namely, there are many websites that are specialized in this type of dating. In other words, you can find a potential partner in a very short period of time without leaving your home. Isn’t that great?

In case you are single, there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual hookups. But, before you get involved in another night of exciting bed activities, it is a good idea to learn a few things. It is possible to have casual sex partner without feeling guilty, embarrassed or bad once the sex is over, but there are also times when you can experience these things. The reason is simple – there are some people that should not be your casual sex partners. If you want to avoid making mistakes like this, keep reading because in this article we will analyze the 5 kinds of people you should not date for casual hookups.

People you fight with on a regular basis

As we all know, hate is a feeling that can easily be turned into something passionate. At the same time, no matter how much you hate someone, it is very likely that you have some degree of respect. After all, that’s why you hate them – they are a threat to you. In case you have to spend some time with an individual like this, there is a chance that you two might end up in bed together. As we said before, the hate can be transformed into admiration after a few drinks and in the end, you will want to channelize these feelings into passionate sex. Don’t let pure emotions control your mind and make decisions that are probably not the best for you. If you notice that the person you hate is not that bad, you should spend more time with them before starting casual sex dating with them.

People who are your best friends

A best friend (of course, we are talking about best friends of the opposite sex) is a person who is well-aware of all your good and bad sides. It is possible that you have caught yourself flirting in the past, but you knew when to stop. However, in case you decide to start a casual hookup with them, your best friend may find this confusing and they may even think that you are in love. In any case, if you sleep with this kind of person, you risk a confusing situation in which both of you will probably feel awkward. Before doing something like this, ask yourself whether it is worth to risk your friendship. Casual sex dating is something that you can do with many people, but is it that easy to find a best friend?

People who live with you

Obviously, we are talking about your roommate. Think of your roommate as your relative – you live with them, but you definitely don’t want to sleep with them. To be honest, there are cases when roommates fall in love and even establish a long-term romantic relationship. But, remember that we are talking about casual hookups in this article. In case you feel down or you need comfort and you think that your roommate can provide something like that through sex, think twice! Once again, you must find the answer to this question – can you handle the awkward moments after that? Keep in mind that you live together and you will have to look at each other on a daily basis.

People who are married or in a serious relationship

guilt-free sexA casual hookup is a type of sexual encounter people have where feelings or emotions are not involved. However, when people have sex with other individuals who are in a serious relationship or married, you will probably feel sorry for what you have done. Even if you are not thinking about the person who got cheated, you will always know that you are just another lover. What is even worse is that married or taken people are often using causal hookups to create an imaginary world in which they are loved and respected. In other words, things can easily get out of control if you are having casual sex with them.

People who have a crush on you

Casual hookups were “invented” for one reason – guilt-free sex. If someone has a crush on you, this means that they have developed strong feelings about you and they expect something more in the future. When we say something more we mean emotions, not just sex. If you know that someone has a crush on you and you are still inviting them in your bed, then you can expect problems in the future. The purpose of casual hookups is to fight stress and have fun and where’s the fun in explaining your feelings to your casual sex partner? Avoid these people at any cost.

Casual hookups can be great if you know how to protect yourself – by avoiding certain kinds of people. The simplest and most convenient way to find a casual sex partner is to use a dating website that connects like-minded people.

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Just Casual Sex, No Relationships! How to Tell Them?

Just casual sex, no relationshipMore and more of us these days are turning to casual hookups to fulfill our needs and desires. Thanks to the surging popularity of online dating sites, it is now possible to meet plenty of people you would otherwise never get the chance to meet, opening up a huge range of possibilities for fun. Dating sites are simple to sign up to, require only a few personal details and a good picture before you are ready to go. With hundreds of thousands of people online looking for someone to meet, one thing is for certain, you will never be short of people to get to know.

Though dating apps like Tinder are becoming famous hookup aids, the problem is that these sites still market themselves to their users as ‘dating sites’. They do so to try to maintain an air of respectability,and so not to appear to condone one night stands or casual hookups, for fear putting off lots of potential members.

If you have already been using these websites to find hookups, you will no doubt have already been familiar with the ‘Tinder dating fallacy’.  This is basically the fact that despite maintaining the façade of only being interested in meeting a long-term partner, a huge percentage of people on the site, are actually only looking for hookups. According to a few surveys, it is estimated that as many as 80% of males and 65% of females using dating sites have had a one night stand with someone they met online.

The problem of telling someone you only want a one night stand is not really an issue when it comes to face to face dating. In this case, things tend to just flow in that direction until you eventually end up having sex, or not as the case may be. You will get a clear picture from the person’s body language and what they are saying as to what their intentions really are.

For example,if they are resistant to going to your place or hotel, then this is a good indicator that they want to take things more slowly and so are more interested in a long-term relationship rather than a casual hookup. When you meet someone in personwho is looking for a hookup, things should progress very quickly to the bedroom. Most likely the sex will take place on either the first or second date, without much in the way of getting to know each other.

The main time where you will find yourself having to tell a person that you are only interested in a casual hookup, will be online. Since people who use online apps get potentially hundreds of ‘offers’ every time they use it, the importance of choosing the right time and place to let them know of your intentions is paramount.

There is little point of you telling anyone immediately after you have introduced yourself, unless you are either a model or famous,because you are almost certainly going to be rejected. It is far better to work it into your ‘game’, building up to it during the period of getting to know someone. The truth is that there is no one way to be honest with the person that is guaranteed to work instead of scaring them off. Telling them straight will more than likely cause them to immediately withdraw and pay little attention to you from then on.

Even if they are looking for a hookup,you still need to treat them as though they were a person who is worthy enough if being taken seriously in the long term. This is part of the game and is something that you should always remember, because if you don’t make them feel they are worth more investment, you are almost certainly not going to get your hookup.

Another important detail to consider is whether you want a one-time onlyfling or a casual hookup who you can see on a more regular basis. If you think you want a more casual hookup, then the job of telling the person should be a lot easier, in theory, since you only need to lay some basic groundwork such as telling the person your mind is focused elsewhere or you are busy with work. This initial attempt to define your relationship can then be reinforced, as and when you think it is necessary,with further comments to prevent the relationship from getting too deep.

In this case, being honest will certainly help you to get the outcome you want, without running the risk of hurting the other person through deception. One of the interesting side effects of the online hookup phenomenon is that in many people it is causing a detachment between their actions and other people’s feelings.  This detachment leads to people behaving in a far more predatory manner with potential hookups, includingsaying or doing just about anything to get what they want, regardless of the consequences.

casual sex datingObviously, this is not really a road we would recommend anyone from traveling down as it relies on dishonesty and manipulation, which will not only do others harm but will eventually affect you negatively too. Better advice would be concentrate on refining your approach and finding ways to make yourself more appealing. Once you have done this, you will have less difficulty in persuading them to meet you for a one night stand or as a casual hookup.

Our final thoughts

How you tell the person really depends on who you are as a person and how you think they will react. Some people are happy with a more forward approach while others will need a far more passive approach that makes them feel like they are not just being used for a bit of throw away fun. Honesty is key, but don’t forget, there definitely is time and place for honesty.

If you are not so experienced at online dating then it is better to gently hint at your hookup intentions at first, waiting a while to tell them when you think the moment is right. For those people who might have fetishes, or want less common experiences such as swinging, you are probably better using one of the specialist apps to begin with to help make it easier to find like-minded people.

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How to Stop Casual Sex From Turning into A Relationship?

No Strings AttachedLet’s be honest, unless you are a monk, we all from time to time need the benefits that casual hookups provide. There are a whole plethora of reasons these no strings attached dates can be good for us, ranging from stress release when, for example, coping with a recent breakup to just having some good old fashioned fun. For some people, casual hookups are regarded as the way to live life to its fullest and have replaced entirely any kind of ‘serious’ relationship.

Whatever your situation, if you are casually dating one or more people and don’t want it to end up drifting into a full on relationship, then here are a few really handy tips on how to keep it casual.

Be honest (to a point)

Honesty is a good way to ensure that you are both on the same page from the outset. Of course, honesty doesn’t mean you have to tell the person about your other hookups or anything, it just makes a big difference in keeping your relationship in a ‘relaxed’ place.

It is usually advisable on the third or fourth hookup to bring up the topic of what this relationship is going to be about. You would look a little strange if you brought it up on the first or second date, for example, as it would make you look like someone who seemed in a hurry to suggest that that they might be a clinger.

It really depends on how well you get on with the person, you should try to do it when you feel comfortable but definitely before this have gone too far. If the person turns up outside your house in a limo waving flowers, screaming “I love you, will you marry me?” at the top of their voice, you have definitely let the situation get way out of control.

As time goes by, you might want to throw in some comment to reinforce the status of the relationship if you feel the person is getting too close. If the person starts talking or asking about you two being together for the long term, then this is also definitely a time to be firm and honest with them. Definitely don’t make the mistake of talking like you are not sure as this will only lead them on.

Keep your distance

The simple fact is that the more you see a person, the more you will either develop an attachment or alternatively end up becoming bored of them. Decreasing how much time you see and spend with a person is a really great way to control the relationship. Think of it like a throttle, where if you want to speed things up then see the person more often but when you feel like things are going too fast just lift off and take a breather. You should always ease off gently as you definitely don’t want to let them know you are doing it as they might get upset and jump ship. The classic ‘I’m a bit busy at the moment’ line comes to mind in this situation.

Maintaining a good level of distance is a real art form but is effective when doing it in the right way as suddenly disappearing for a long time, for example, won’t usually go down well and will lead to cracks starting to appear.

Don’t get jealous

You might at some point find yourself coming across your hookup on a casual dating site or even see them out and about with someone else. Though it is a natural thing to feel jealousy, even if you don’t have deep feelings for someone, it is important to keep these out of your relationship with your hookup. Spending your time together as though it was a police interrogation is going to quickly put the other person off. Keep it relaxed and forget your jealousy, and if you can’t, then it’s time to hit the road.

Don’t talk about a future with them, joking or not

Just Casual SexIt is a completely natural thing to talk about the future, as thanks to the way we work and plan our days, our whole lives revolve around it.  As a result, it is a topic that could easily come up during everything from a dinner date to causal pillow talk.

It is inevitable that this topic will come up at some point when you are with your causal date, but when it does, you should definitely try to keep this subject to a minimum. Even a short discussion about some future plans could plant a seed that grows into a nightmare. The seed might even be as simple as them feeling offended that you aren’t taking them seriously enough, even though they actually feel the same way too. The future can definitely be a bad place if it starts to enter your casual hookup, so take our advice and keep it out!

Don’t be too romantic

For romantics, there is always the desire to add a little magic to the moment but it is important to remember that when it comes to casual sex dating, this can lead down roads you don’t want it to. As a general rule, it is best to avoid being seen as a regular Romeo. That is not to say that you can’t do nice things for the person or give them the occasional gift, but making this a regular thing is inadvisable. Of course, how much and when depends on the person, but as a general rule of thumb, nothing much more than a small birthday, valentine’s day and Christmas present is a good idea. Try to avoid flowers and cards too.

If you notice them starting to give you too many gifts, you will need to deal with it to stop it getting out of control. Try to politely drop into the conversation that the person doesn’t need to buy you presents and that you feel uncomfortable by it. This should then dissuade them from doing so in the future. Remember, the more time that person spends thinking about you when you are not around, the more likely they are going to want a future with you.

Don’t get involved in their friend group

This is another important part of maintaining a healthy distance. The more you involve yourself in a person’s day to day life, the more you will become involved with them. Meeting and getting to know a hookup’s friends is definitely playing with fire, even if you two are on the same page, and so should be avoided like the plague.

Know that when it’s over it’s over

All good things come to an end, as the saying goes, and accepting that a hookup has come to the end of the road is an important step. Because of distance, it is inevitable that at some point one or both of you are going to lose interest, so when it happens, be prepared to let it go.