Casual Dating Guide: Best Tips for Getting a Woman to Go Home with You
Whether you have met someone through a dating app and are about to meet her in person, or want to know how to hook up with a woman in a bar, there are a few helpful things to know to make sure that you keep the best odds of getting a hookup on your side.
All of us, regardless of if we are straight, bisexual or lesbian, have that fear of walking up to a girl and for everything to go wrong. She might not like you, isn’t interested in talking, already have a boyfriend, or you may not hit it off after you start making conversation. For this reason, hitting on a girl that you don’t know is a really scary thing for most people, something that creates enough fear that in most cases means people won’t actually even bother trying.
In all parts of our lives, fear is the most restricting factor to success. Though we all somehow envy those pickup ‘gurus’, who with the bestselling book ‘The Game’ as their bible,are able to get girls anywhere from clubs to the subway, the truth is that very few of us would actually want to be one of those people. Their approach might play well for one night stands but would you really want to end up being someone who is comfortable with being a sleaze and happy doing things like grabbing asses and constantly working an angle on people?
The great news is that you don’t have to. You can still get plenty of hookups without turning yourself into a manipulative douchebag who leaves nothing but a series of hurt women behind you. Here are a few good tips on how to have a healthy hookup dating life, without having to be a sleaze.
Don’t believe that the opening line is that important
We’ve all watched James Bond slide up to some girl, and after throwing her some corny one-liner, end up in bed with her a short time later. The problem is that the movies are not the real world and few of us are lucky enough to drive and Aston Martin or to be able to afford Bond’s expensive suits to stand a chance of getting the stunners he does.
While it is certainly true that in many cases money does talk, in the real world most of James Bond’s one-liners would only have girls heading for the exit. The simple fact is that if a girl wants to talk to you and likes you then you don’t need anything much to really break the ice. A simple introduction will often do the trick, something like “Hi, I’m….” is enough. If she doesn’t respond or says something condescending then you can either try to take it from there or leave. In 90% of all cases, if a woman isn’t even in the mood to greet you politely, then all bets are off.
Keep your approach relevant to the environment
The ideal place to try to chat up any woman is in a bar. Bars allow you to stand near to the person and even catch their eye from time to time. A table is a lot harder, while dance floors are good, clubs are often too noisy. Your approach can be pretty standard in a bar where women are generally much more receptive to being approached. If you are, for example, in a quiet street then the person is much less likely to want to stop and chat. In this case, asking for the time is a great opener and will certainly get a better response than asking something like ‘what’s your name?’
Buy them a drink but don’t act like they owe you for it
Buying a drink is a great way to get yourself invited to join a girl for a chat. One you start talking, you definitely need to shine in terms of turning on the charm, but you should always avoid acting like they owe you the time or cannot leave until you are happy you got what you paid for. Just play it cool and forget about the drink, it could end up getting you a casual hookup or it could be wasted money, either way, don’t act like the girl owes you as it will certainly end in tears.
Try not to seem nervous or uncomfortable
Before you approach the girl, it is definitely worth taking a few deep breaths to try to relax as much as possible. When talking to her, make sure that you keep eye contact to a normal level since eye contact is a sign of confidence and as we all know, women love confidence. Also, make sure that you are asking lots of questions and conveying a strong interest in her replies. Obviously, you don’t need to go over the top but definitely try to make it seem that you two connect on a deeper level.
As much as possible be yourself
One of the most important bits of advice is to try to be natural as much as possible. Though you will obviously want to make yourself seem as exotic and interesting as possible, if you stray too far from the truth, unless you are well practiced, you might trip yourself up and run into trouble.
Let things flow
It is always a good idea to have a handful of questions and topics of conversations in your mind to cover while you talk. Tried and tested topics that get people laughing are perfect. Avoid any controversial topics and jokes that might cause offense. Try to keep the conversation flowing naturally rather than it sounding like an interview. If you just keep asking different questions without asking follow up questions to create a flowing conversation you are quickly going to exhaust your topics and will be stuck for things to talk about.
Getting them to go home with you
Unless the person is making it very obvious then it is usually better to wait for the night to take its course before making any move towards getting them to go home with you. Once you feel the moment is right, don’t hold back, invite them out of the bar or straight to your place. Usually, asking the person where they live is a great way to get this conversation started. Depending on the environment, bisexuals and lesbians will often have to be a little bit more cautious about this, as unless it is a gay or lesbian bar, there is a big chance the woman might not have realized your intentions.